Willingness to perform and diligence are very positive qualities. But what if the pursuit of perfection weighs you down ? 5 tips on how you can finally get rid of your perfectionism.
There are different types of perfectionism. Healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism. Healthy perfectionism means that someone strives for very good performance. However, he accepts that perfect performance is not always possible.
Those who suffer from unhealthy perfectionism, however, set themselves unattainable goals and cannot let go of thoughts of unfinished tasks. Accepting mistakes is not easy for the person affected. Unhealthy perfectionism often leads to health problems – such as tension, sleep disorders or depressive moods.
According to psychologist Willi Zeidler, most people come to terms with their pathological striving for performance far too late: “Unfortunately, we usually only come to the realization that the course we are taking is not getting us anywhere after a warning shot in the form of a burnout. Only then do we find an appropriate level of demands that is healthy and corresponds to our nature.”
If you also suffer from perfectionism, the following five tips may help you to become more satisfied.
1. Set your own rules
Only work overtime in exceptional cases, don’t spend your lunch break at work, sometimes even say “no” – an effective method against perfectionism is to set up your own daily rules. Which rules make sense depends, among other things, on the work situation.
If you are a student or freelancer, for example, you could impose a ban on working in the evenings and on Sundays. This time is then filled with sports or other leisure activities. It is best to tell your work colleagues and friends about your rules – this encourages them to keep them.
2. Remember : better performance without perfectionism.
According to various studies, there is no correlation between perfectionism and high performance. “Ironically, perfectionism usually fails to keep failures at bay and prevent mistakes. It is rather a guarantee to get bogged down, not to start things in the first place or not to finish them,” Zeidler explains.
In fact, you will feel that without perfectionism you are much more satisfied with the end result. If you are dogged and tense at work, you will make mistakes. Those who are positive about themselves and their task are more creative and better able to concentrate – this is also proven. “Accuracy, attention and concentration are certainly necessary for effective work. Perfectionism, on the other hand, usually tips into the opposite and costs the bottom line more energy for less result.”
3. Don’t get lost in details
One mistake many perfectionists make: they get lost in details. It is much more goal-oriented to focus on the big picture. The Pareto principle helps to keep an overview. It says that only 20 percent of the effort is needed to achieve 80 percent of the result.
The secret is to start with the most necessary tasks and only take care of the details later – when there is still time. Anyone who has tried out the Pareto principle will find that the end result is even better if you don’t dwell on the little things.
4. Recognize the area between “success” and “failure
When perfectionists fail to achieve their unrealistic goals, they judge it as a failure. But there are gradations between success and failure. Realize that you can rarely achieve 100 percent.
Ask yourself what percentage would constitute failure. 30 Or 20 ? What percentage are you usually at ? You can also be happy about a task that you have completed at 80 or 90 percent. Often you notice many more shortcomings than other people.
5. Strengthen your self-confidence
The cause of unhealthy perfectionism is often low self-esteem. Affected people unconsciously strive for recognition by performing well. “Perfectionism is an attempt to gain security and to virtually force the admiration, acceptance and love of the environment through a performance facade,” explains the psychologist.
A healthy self-confidence can therefore help to get rid of sick pressure to perform. Because if you give yourself a lot of credit and treat yourself nicely, you are no longer dependent on recognition from others. Travel alone, find a hobby, do something good for yourself on a regular basis – all this can boost your self-esteem.